SO IT WAS WRITTEN, SO IT WAS DONE

AS THEY SAY ON SPORTSCENTER:  WELCOME TO THE BIG SHOW

A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find that after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us.  –John Steinbeck

On to the Trip:

ORIGIN OF THE ROLLING TIDE

A year ago, my father, brother Gage, and I attended an event where a multitude of diverse people were in attendance.  At this event we met an older man named Steve.  Bold, energetic, and most importantly a graduate of the University of Alabama, this die hard soldier of the Crimson Tide reveled in one quote – ‘Roll Tide.’  The best part about his mantra was that it could be applied to anything and everything in life.  Gage and I developed a language where we could verb it, noun it, and yup adjective the hell out of it.  Gage – “Chuck, I’m starving, Roll Tide me some of those biscuits.”  Charlie – “You got it bud, with some Roll Tide sausage gravy?”  Dad – “Good morning Chaz and Bean, hope you slept well, Roll Tide, museum walk in 15.”  Bang all 3.  So was born The Rolling Tide, the biscuits and gravy.

Now onto the big show, because I said so.

THE BISCUITS

The format is simple:  To deliver whatever transpired to the masses.  Make note I do not classify this as a blog. Rather, I have been counseled by numerous peeps that I need to share experiences with the minions because of the somewhat epic, downright shameful, and mainly strange happenings that seem to befall me.  However, the posts will be very random so I’m dubbing it an Electro-Manifest.  This initial post is just a little introduction, the grease will be delivered in future posts.     So just sit back, go grab yourself a beer……..Seriously, I’ll wait……..and onto the highlights.  Now, a reading from the book of Charlie.

THE GRAVY

First and foremost: Thank you to Deidre for nudging, pushing,  and finally bulldozing me into the endeavor of bloghood.  It may have taken some time, but so does fine wine.

I’ve hired Deidre on as my Editor in Chief for the Rolling Tide.  Obviously, I’ll pay her nothing, ask her why that girl at the bar ain’t talking to me dammit, and constantly  ask to use her car….or lack thereof.  Oh snap!  Too soon?  Now if I can offer my advice, go get yourself a Deidre. The Deidre is the uncompromising friend who runs on caffeine and chicken wings.  Careful though, if you go out and get yourself a custom Dee, she may also require a late night cig or a karaoke run, as mine does frequently.  Do not skimp on the purchase of a Deidre though, or you may wind up with a Snookie.  Just a flashier and ultimately cheaper Deidre, with half the size, no brains, none of the edge.

Rolling Tide’s Editor and Chief:

My Editor’s favorite pose, I call it the Dee-Rex.  The other dude on the right just liberated Cuba.

Recognition to Dee’s Co-Editor and male equivalent Quen.  He too requires a healthy dose of karaoke and will saturate this website.  He will drop all kinds of knowledge in two fields:  Music and Head Explosions.

Onto more Introductions.

THE PATRONS

MVP OF THE WEEK:

Jbone: The Sultan of Nike Swat just crushed it and closed a house that requires 17 servants and has a pool that is my new home.

Jbone and his bodyguard T-Smash on the right.  Ok he’s drinking, but those are the surveillance eyes of a black mamba

LVP OF THE WEEK:

Tim’s cat Dummy.  Stupid story but it illustrated Portland’s hippy pandemic.  Now Tim has a cat.  This cat is dumb.  Thus, I’ve named him Dummy.   Tim loves Dummy.  Charlie loathes Dummy.  Charlie and Tim arrive home one day.  Apparently, Dummy just decided to punch out the screen (Of a 5 story apartment) and take a glory walk along the terrace.  Well, Dummy survived his leisurely walk on the 5th story balcony and made it back inside alive.  Enter Trademark Hippy Portlander.   Tim likes hippies.  Charlie loathes hippies.  Portland Hippy (Let’s call her Moonbeam) decided to write us a hippy letter.  Moonbeam penned an 18 page letter about seeing some cat on a balcony.  She addressed how she used to be a vet, how we need screens, needed to take better care of Dummy, and how the world would be a better place if cats could cure cancer.  By the way, I’m writing this with Dummy sitting in my lap, I secretly like Dummy.  But I still hate hippies.

MY BROTHERS IN ARMS

A brother is a friend given by nature – Jean Baptiste.  I have the benefit of 3.  They will marinate this site and buzz the tower frequently.  More on them later.

At any given time, expect at least 1 of 4 to go Gonzo.  I’ll let you decide which one was at this event.

Friends and family you too will be exposed.  Especially Fay and yes you Kristen D. (Who pilfered my Super Awesome Trek Mountain Bike and painted it pink on her way to Burning Man).  Ok that’s actually most excellent and I can only imagine what the Trek saw.

THE PEACHES AND CREAM

I’m somewhat of prodigy when it comes to betting on sporting events.  An Aussie in Vegas once mirrored my picks and upon payout says, “Mate, you’re my little Donny Bradman.”  Question:  When’s the last time you were compared to the greatest cricketer of all time?   Basically, just be quiet and listen to my weekly picks because I can wager a wicked googly.

NFL

Saints @ Packers – Over on points (47)  Don’t want to touch the line on this Thursday Lambeau slugfest.  I’m seeing Globetrotters numbers in this puppy.  Also, never bet against Brees, it angers the Gods.  Take the over on points, thank me later.

Seachickens @ 49ers (49ers -5.5)  Seattle is attrocious, and I say that not because I hate them.  It’s a fact.  The Niner’s are starting an armadillo at QB, but they can cover.

COLLEGE

Missouri @ Arizona St. (Arizona St. -9.5) – Friday night in the desert.  Fireworks from the Devils, double shots at Maloney’s, and an easy cover.

South Carolina @ Georgia (SC -3) – Absolutely nicht on Richt this season.  The Ol’ Ball Coach wins easy between the hedges in Athens.  My dark horse national champs: take the Gamecocks and kiss Uga goodnight.

Record:  (0-0)  Gotta love a clean slate.  Bring on the Goodness.

BREW OF THE WEEK:

Brix Tavern – Mint Julip.  Pearl District vibe with a bourbon mint twist.  Tough to beat.

GRUB OF THE WEEK:

Dick’s Drive In – Dick’s Ultimate Cheeseburger.  Seattle, WA.  $2.70, they call it the hangover killer.  Menu  I may have had seconds.  Tio Toucan had thirds.

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK:

Bay Area Surf and Sport  For all the Oakland A’s, SF Giants, SF 49ers, and Jimmer Fredette news your heart desires.  If you get a minute, also go see the the upcoming Brad Pitt blockbuster Moneyball, you’ll enjoy the BA Surf ‘n Sport blogger starring as the Minnesota Twins third baseman who catches the final out with a fist pump.

Side note – The Rolling Tide loves fist pumps.

LAST CALL

Final shout out to Jbone and Cbons and my Editor in Chief for closing on their prospective houses.   It’s been a long time coming, but I feel very proud and equally lucky that I now have somewhere to sunshine my pectoralis.

Here’s to the lifestyle of running, jaunting, and tazing.

Wait did that happen?

Roll Tide.