In the clearing stands a boxer and a fighter by his trade, and he carries the reminders of every glove that laid him down or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame, “I am leaving, I am leaving” But the fighter still remains.      —  Paul Simon

If only.

Took me more than a week to get over the Kyle Williams muffed punt that led to Baby Eli walking into the House that Payton built.  With all due respect to Brady and Eli, you just witnessed a pure cut diamond of a season from the City by the Bay.  The Niners have exited the premises, but more than a fighter still remains in that defensive squadron.

I’m actually not going to break down any of the Super Bowl.  Instead, I’m going to give you accurate insight into the best prop bets you can actually lay money on in Vegas.  Away we roll.

The Top Props

How many times will Payton Manning be shown on TV (3.5)

Far and away my absolute most favorite bet in the past 5 years of Super Bowls.  Payton has said he will be attending, this is the stadium he built with his legacy, it’s an absolute no-win situation as his brother overtakes his greatness with a win or Brady is crowned the greatest QB of this century, and you run the chance of them showing his pops Archie and him sliding in to the shot.  My feel is Payton sightings are at about a 7.  I will bet my youngest brother Gage on this bet.  If I lose, I’ll sell Gage into feifdom I’m so confident.  Sorry Bean.

How many times will Giselle Bundchen be shown on TV (0.5)

Tough tough call.  Giselle has not indicated if she will be attending, so if you want to lay early action I’d take the over and hope she’s cheering Team Brady (Sorry Michelle Moynihan).  If she’s in Indy, this line goes to 2.5 in my opinion.  Eat the point and go over again.

Time it takes Kelly Clarkson to sing National Anthem (1:34)

Another toughy, but I again am leaning over.  I ran some film and listened to “Since you been gone” and “Because of You” to get some insight, and because I’m a 13 year old girl.  Since this is the Anthem, I say she hits the breaks and carries the highs for about a buck and 44 seconds. Remember, they gave Christina Aguilera 1:54 and that was extremely close, even with her botching the words and leaving out a verse.

Beers Consumed By Jim Daly Jr. during Super Bowl (17.5)
Beers Consumed by Deidre Daly during Super Bowl (0.5)

Jimmy Jr. over.  Easy money, would be higher but he will be eating only his fingernails by the fourth.  Dee under, with her it’s one or none (unless Jameson is in attendance).  And like all of America, wishes this was not played on a school night.

Color of Gatorade dumped on winning coach’s head:

Yellow 3/2
Water 2/1
Orange 5/2
Lime Green 5/1
Red 15/2
Blue 10/1

Normally, I always fall back on old reliable Lemon Lime.  However, Coughlin is a cyborg who cannot process sugar, so if you like NYG go water.  And besides Chuck Noll, the NFL has never had a more working class coach then Belichick, so go with the blue if you’re leaning Pats.

Miles my Dad Jimmers logs on his Trek bike on Super Bowl Sunday (49.5)

My dad will sit and watch the most boring of Giants baseball games, yet pass on the BCS National Championship.  He’s what we like to call a flier.  Completely hit or miss, Goose or Maverick.  Jimmers will be glued to the tube or tackling the Berkeley Hills when the fourth quarter rolls around.  I’m leaning TV, but it’s a tough call.  What would Lance do?

Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first:

Coach 12/1
Teammates 7/4
Family 7/1
God 4/1
Owner 4/1
No one 11/4

I always ride with la familia on this bet.  It’s a winner all day.  Mom, Pops, Wife, Kids, Sibs, Dog, babysitter, mailman.  It’s a lock.

Side note – My MVP speech:

“I am so honored to be MVP of this game.  I just want to thank the God that is my family, teammates, coaches, and ownership.  I also want to thank me, my accomplishments, and no one in particular.”  At which point Vegas would explode in utter confusion, Tim Tebow would overthrow Obama armed with peace and goodwill, and Skynet would become self-aware.

So in the interests of self-preservation, I guess I’ll allow Brady to accept the MVP and just thank his teammates and owner Robert Kraft (yawn).  Patriots by 6.  Should have been Niners by 1.5.  Just another reason to hate New York.

Roll Tide.

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  1. if i’m peyton manning, i bet 5 million on the under, then fly to vegas to pick up my winnings during the game. no brainer

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