THE DICE WAS LOADED FROM THE START

Jobbed:  Verb  \jōb-du\  also pronounced \pah-key-ow\   To be the victim of a conspiracy; to lose a seemingly fair contest because of deceit; to be guaranteed to lose. The term derives from the professional wrestling term “jobber”.

LAS VEGAS  — Last Saturday night, as you’ve undoubtedly heard, Manny Pacquiao was absolutely robbed in one of the most infamous title fights in boxing history, losing to challenger Timothy Bradley in a controversial split decision.   Judges Duane Ford and C.J. Ross scored the bout 115-113 in favor of Bradley, setting the table for the second biggest tragedy in Vegas history (the first being of course when Roy Horn was attacked and critically injured by one of his tigers, and Siegfried couldn’t do a damn thing about it).   The fight sparked an increasingly prevalent debate regarding events that are decided by judge’s decisions, with the Filipino sensation front and center.

After watching his beloved Celtics drop Game 7 to the Miami Heat, Pacquiao opened his title defense angry and strong.  Dominating early and often, he seemed to let up and cruise in the later rounds, mirroring his late-round strategy in several of his previous fights, all unanimous wins. Controlling and dictating the majority of the fight, while landing 190 power blows compared to Bradley’s 112, Pacquiao seemed to have locked down another victory.  Only problem, someone forgot to alert the three judges.

See how they judge.  See how they judge.

With all due respect to judge Jerry Roth, who scored the fight 115-113 in favor of Pacquiao, even his scoring was incredibly controversial.  Several ESPN boxing experts scored the fight 119-109 for Pac-man.  Dan Rafeal, reporting ringside for ESPN, called it, “The worst, most bogus call in the history of boxing.”  The interweb and Sportscenter went viral with conspiracy.  Compubox, an innovative unbiased computer program that analyzes every punch thrown, awarded Pacquiao every major statistical category (punches thrown, punches landed, power punches thrown/landed, jabs, hooks, angry looks, etc…).

I know what you’re thinking.  I don’t trust computers,  have you seen the Terminator saga?  I concur, so I turned to Connor the human computer, who doubles as my brother and our On the Ropes correspondent, for some insight.  His response is below word for word.

On the Ropes presented by Connor™ (Via text message)

When they spelled out exactly what judges looked for in scoring, and that scoring is *only* on a round-by-round basis, I can see where these yahoos may have been coming from.  An eggregious error?  Absolutely.  Does it thrust into the spotlight what was already a grim future for boxing?  Ohhh Boy Howdy!!!   What’s really interesting is that aggressiveness is weighted highest in scoring.  Control of the ring is only weighted third, believe it or not.  Which begs you to yell, PAC…You gotta knock him the F*** out man!

Suffice to say, the rematch will not be happening in Nevada.  Heads…be…rolling.  Connor out.

Insightful, reasonable, and working a ‘Boy Howdy’ into the conversation.  That’s why he’s our cut-man, just dropping daily dimes.

But still it wasn’t enough.  I needed more answers, and I needed them fast.  So I turned to the street, The Backstreet, for someone to shed some more light on the situation.  Enter Nick Carter, lead singer of the immortal Backstreet Boys.  To the Twitter!

I think I may never take boxing seriously after that tonight. Manny pacquiao won that fight! Sad day for boxing, I think we should protest!  @NickCarter

Dude, standing in an airplane hanger and claiming I Want it That Way, doesn’t classify as a protest.  Dammit Carter.

I’m gonna let it go… After I say this… Boxing was RUINED tonight for me.  I cannot believe what I just saw… Please tell me they read that decision wrong…#Rigged  @JustinTimberlake

Nice work judges, you just lost  N’Sync as well.  Break it on down to Omeletteville!

I’m so disgusted. The JUDGES need to be drug tested! What fight were they watching?!  @MarioLopez

A.C. Slater doesn’t lie.

Defeat never comes to any fighter until he loses his enthusiasm. Pacquiao, you are a winner.  @Paulo Coelho

Seriously?  The Alchemist weighs in?!?  The world was exploding, and still no answers.

All of this begs you to wonder – If the crowd was in disbelief, if a nation exploded in awe over the ruling, if conspiracy chants drenched us like Portland rain, if Backstreet and N’Sync could call a truce and focused on the injustice, and alchemy couldn’t solve the problem – How does this happen???

The answer:  When judges decide outcomes, sport ceases to be sport, and the art of being jobbed is put on display for the masses.  See:  Figure Skating, Salt Lake 2002 Olympic Winter Games.  The Mona Lisa of athlete v. judge.  Judges = Not sport.

The real problem is as long as 3 old timers sitting ringside get to shell out a decision and award a belt/trophy, then boxing, figure skating, MMA, gymnastics, Miss America pageants, diving,  and Fox News will always be exhibitions, not sport.  It’s all your fault America, you allow decisions to decide championships, which is inherently socialist.  No collective governing body should ever have to tell the people who won or lost.  If that we’re the case, the Patriots would have won the Super Bowl, because everyone hates New York, and they pretty much lose at life.  Single Jeter tear.

I will not stand for anymore of this boxing shenanigans, and call a point of order.  New rule, if nobody is knocked out after 12 rounds, the belt remains in the hands of the champ.  Motivation:  You want my belt?  Then you better knock me the f*** out.  Now that’s sport.  Now that’s America.

Sadly, in the current system boxing is no different then wrestling.  But at least Vince McMahon doesn’t hide the ridiculousness.  Manny you were robbed, jobbed, and indirectly killed boxing with this loss.  Dear boxing, you lose Timberlake, you lose America.  Fact.

It’s times like these when you need a little something to drown out all this injustice and it’s inherent aftermath.  You need a song, the cheesiest song.  You need classroom instruments, a bongo and kazoo.  You need The Roots.  Bring us home Jimmy.

Roll Tide.

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2 Responses to THE DICE WAS LOADED FROM THE START

  1. c w says:

    I can’t reiterate enough how ridiculous that decision was.
    So I didn’t see any sports odds for the week. Here you are world:
    Germany takes the Cup.
    rematch: Pacman KO’s Bradley within first 4.

  2. Connor B says:

    simmons and cousin sal also had a good pod on this topic…

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